Germoloids Cream x 55g

It's burn...then calm down..

Amazon Prime. Less than 24 hours from order to deployment. That’s the kind of logistical support you need when your backside feels like it’s been lit up by a flamethrower. I opened the box like it was carrying a classified mission file. There it was. A bold, shiny tube of Germoloids. No shame. No fluff. Just “Cream for Piles” printed on the front like it’s applying for a job in public relations. The packaging doesn’t whisper—it shouts: “We’re going in.” On the avert: a man riding a bike through a forest with the face of someone who’s just been released from years of butt-based captivity. You can tell from his eyes—he knows the sting is gone. Then there’s the woman in headphones, arms in the air like her hoop just got an MBE. This wasn’t just a purchase. This was a reclamation of dignity. First application? External. Clean, quick, no mirrors needed. Dabbed it on like I was baptising the area. Cool, calm, almost reverent. Within five minutes the burn backed off. The itching vanished. I stopped pacing the house like I’d sat on a cactus. Immediate signs of de-escalation. The applicator? Still in its holster. That’s for tonight—Operation Inner Peace. That little plastic nozzle is sitting there like it’s waiting for clearance from HQ. And honestly? I’ve never felt so hopeful. Germoloids doesn’t mess around. It doesn’t pretend. It doesn’t hide behind flower-scented branding or whispery euphemisms. It arrives, assesses the scene, and gets the job done. If your rear is raging and diplomacy has failed—this is your solution. Cream on. Fire out. The war is over.

This cream does exactly what you want it to. It’s easy to apply and really helps calm the itching and soreness, with the anaesthetic giving pretty quick relief from the discomfort. It feels gentle on the skin and not overly greasy, and it’s reassuring to have something like this in the cupboard when you need it. Overall, very effective and definitely does the job. Good size and greeat value for money

Good stuff,works for piles, it doesn't stick anything and its no good in food, its for piles

20 years ago my former boss asked me if i had hair in my ears, i laughed and said 'no'. 'You will' he said. 10 years ago my older brother asked if i had back pain, i laughed and told him 'no'. 'You will', he said. Now, i am in my 40's and have both hair in my ears and back pain, and they are not even the worst of my ailments. getting older is a gift and a curse. But were here to talk about butts. My job is largely desk based, so i sit on my rear for most of the day. my diet isnt as good as it could be, so my bowel movements can be variable. a pile is for life, not just for christmas, and once you get them they will always cause some degree of discomfort. i have tried a number of creams to aid with this discomfort including some horribly textured petroleum jelly types. A lot of these types of creams also state for external use only, but this one comes with a handy applicator nozzle for internal use, well, i say handy, but theirs nothing convenient about shoving something up and inside you. needless to say, i have yet to take advantage of this feature! No sooner you remove the cap are you met with the familiar scent of Germolene. As a child, you knew you had a bad scrape when the Germolene came out. The smell reminds me of my mum, of safety. The cream itself is fairly easy to apply and rubs in reasonably well. A quick hand wash and you are not left with any residue or smell on your fingers as some of the other creams do. i have started to use this as a proactive treatment during the times when i dont have much discomfort, rather that just reactive. it does seem to offer some reduced pain function and alleviates the 'throb' that can sometimes prevent you from even sitting down. time will tell if there is a longer term improvement but as far as something you rub into your bottom holes goes, this is the best i have tried!

Does the job perfectly, calms it all down very well on the whole, good quality lasts good time when applied