In the Dream House: A Memoir

I read this book in one sitting - it was utterly un-put-downable. It tore my heart apart, but stuck around to gather the pieces and offer a healing salve. Even if you've never experienced any type of abuse, the story is so well written, the style not just creative but cleverly reflecting the topic of the book, and the narrator's voice so likable, that it's a memoir that anyone could easily name in their top 5 favorites. It's very clear that a lot of intention went into the entire piece. If you have ever found yourself in an abusive relationship, you know how isolating and bleak it feels. If you’ve ever found yourself in a queer abusive relationship, you know that the feeling of isolation is also threaded with shame, confusion, and a lack of visible precedence. If you’ve ever found yourself in a queer, psychologically/emotionally abusive relationship, then you know how utterly impossible it is to find representations of your experience in movies, art, literature, television, etc. This book is important not only because it serves as a brilliantly written cautionary tale that anyone, in any kind of relationship, can be preyed upon - but also because those of us who have can finally add a book to our shelves that accurately represents our experience, or even use it as a resource to suggest to others who are struggling to understand our experience. The book benefits everyone who reads it - queer or not, abused or not. Towards the end of the book, Machado mentions a moment in her past, wherein a woman at a party whispers to her, "I believe you". She is so overcome with gratitude and begins to cry so hard that she has to leave the party and go home. Every page of this book felt to me like a soft, gentle whisper in my ear: "I believe you. I believe you. I believe you."

beautifully written! is it a memoir? carmen says a lot about what happened to her but reveals very little of how she coped -- and her recovery process. the refrain of lesbian violence and abuse not being catalogued ends up overshadowing the narrative. as a queer survivor of abuse in a same-sex relationship, this book feels like SO MANY of the things i have lived and stories i've heard; so who is carmen's audience? straight people who need convincing? why? as other reviewers, i was also deeply disturbed by the "i would do it all again" line at the end (and would be very disturbed if in a similar situation my partner said that to me in an effort to be.. romantic?). i want carmen to dive more deeply and directly into her own mental health issues related to this abuse and tell more about her coping and recovery -- but it's not my book. it just feels like i've read the first part of something, not the whole work. it feels unfinished...

I have never read a Machado book before, though I am familiar with her experimental style of writing. Her collection of short experiences to tell her heartbreaking tale had me seeing life with a new perspective. I will say that in the book I found Carmen's character to be a bit unbelievable in the first 40 pages, however as I went on I drastically altered my opinion. Later in the book she has a "choose your own adventure" section that I was skeptical about, however it worked so well I would not be surprised if more authors began construction sections in their books this way. In the shortest chapter, the author writes once sentence. this sentence had me staring at this page for five minutes, wishing she was wrong and thinking about my own experiences until I realized how right she was. Amazing work, love her, love the transparency, and I love the vulnerability she has the courage to show.

A 1000x better than expected, and I expected nothing short of holy scripture. Months earlier I stumbled upon the description and knew this book would be monumental. As early reviews crept in, my anticipation grew. I had my Kindle fully charged and stayed up until midnight so I could start reading the second it released. By 2am I was 30% done. A few marathon readings later, I reached the last page with breathless finality. The result? Monumental doesn't even begin to cover it. The funny thing, it's not monumental because of what happens. Bad relationships happen all the time. Abusive relationships, mental and/or physical, happen all the time. It's talked about less in queer relationships, that's true, and Machado does a great job pointing that out, but I doubt anybody will be dumbfounded by what they read. They will be surprised, however, that there's someone brave enough to talk about it, and by how personal she's willing to get. They will be surprised by how she structures it. The structure really is what makes this a masterpiece. It's not just the experience, it's the delivery. The darkest memories are brilliantly conveyed in second person and through varying lens. Most of them literary devices. Machado recounts her life through the eyes of Chekhov's Gun, Choose Your Own Adventure, Haunted House, Erotica, Plot Twist, and dozens more. Each section is short and precise. Never a wasted word. For those uncomfortable reading about abuse, she doesn't take it too far either. This isn't battered woman porn. She doesn't go on and on. We get snippets, glimpses of a life that we can easily piece together, and, more importantly, relate to. What she accomplishes for the queer community specifically, I think, is breaking the ice. After hard-fought battles for marriage equality, there's this unspoken rule that gay relationships must work. If they don't, people will point and say I told you so. By extension, rights may be taken away. Obviously that's not the only factor that kept Machado in her relationship. It may not even be in the Top 10, but it is a shadow that hovers over the scene. She points to lesbian stereotypes as well. Society expects men to be abusive, but two women? Their relationship should be a utopia, right? These stereotypes, this ice, is something she clearly wants to break apart. And she succeeds tremendously. Of course you don't have to be queer to recognize this is a master work of memoir and creative non-fiction. It is a testament that all experiences, however ordinary or unique, should be shared. Perhaps the most powerful aspect of the book is the relentless honesty. She veils it slightly by the structure and 2nd person, but in a way this makes the experience more real. More true. And the accomplishment, I think, is for any one person to read this and be able to know that, for sure, they are not alone.

The book arrived wrinkled. The parcel was packed only in thin packaging. There was no protective layer. The book is printed well. It was bought as a gift.

I’ve got a feminine brain in a masculine body. Love subtle, lesbian erotica.

Diesem Buch wünsche ich jede Menge Leset und Lesrrinnen. Möge es jenen helfen, die in derselben Situation sind, und auch deren Angehörigen. Es braucht Mut, um über solch intime und schmerzhafte Erfahrungen zu sprechen - gut also dass Carmen Machado es wagt.

I feel like this memoir has the perfect balance between reader-friendliness and depth of content. As I was reading it, I felt like my brain was exploding. The book combines the author's narrative about her experience in a toxic same-sex relationship with some theoretical perspectives on queerness. It is truly fascinating.

llegó rápido y en perfectas condiciones!! muy buen libro

Um dos melhores livros escritos na humanidade.

READ THIS IF... you like memoir, lyrical prose, and aren’t afraid to read about difficult topics. THE STORY... Carmen narrates her experience of an abusive same sex relationship. I WAS... intrigued by this memoir, as I loved Carmen’s short story collection enough to dedicate a chapter of my dissertation to it, and I wanted to see how her writing style translated to nonfiction. Her writing retained its beauty, and blended seamlessly with her ideas, and the academic sources that she cited. It was illuminating to learn more about the history of domestic abuse, and by placing this within her story Carmen made this so much more meaningful. One of my favourite chapters discussed the concept of queer villainy, and Carmen perfectly summed up the problem with marking all queer villains as harmful stereotypes by saying ‘when we refuse wrongdoing for a group of people, we refuse their humanity.’ Each chapter had a, for lack of a better term, mic drop moment - where I either learnt something, or another layer of the story was revealed. I loved this book, and I can honestly say that Carmen Maria Machado is one of the most talented authors that I’ve encountered. It goes without saying that this book dealt with very serious topics and was genuinely upsetting - I would advise caution if depiction of abusive relationships could trigger or upset you. However, if this is something you feel able to read, you will not regret picking it up. NOW... I would recommend this to everyone - it’s so relevant, so beautifully written, and so emotive. I definitely want to re-read Carmen’s short story collection ‘Her Body and Other Parties’, and I need to get my hands on her comic book series ‘The Low, Low Woods’.