Perks of being a wallflower Paperback – January 1, 2009

Of course I loved the book. It's so much more than "young-adult combing-of-age". For me, it was deeply moving, an often gripping story, particularly at the end, and it opened a window not just into teenagers, but into life at all stages -- this while being extremely well-written and without calling attention to its well-written-ness. What I found most striking, was showing life through a different kind of mind, what's sometimes called Asperger's Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism. AS/HFA isn't a disease, but an important difference, important to us all. What makes AS/HFA an important difference is its talents, particularly its special "perceptiveness", though not "perceptiveness" in the usual sense. More as a deep meaning to what Robert Burns wrote, "And would some power, the Gods give us, To see ourselves as others see us!"(Know this book deals directly with many painful topics including abuse, suicide and violent bullying. It's not for "more sensitive" readers.)Reading several reviews, I'm not surprised that some reviewers found the lead character, Charlie, "too sweet" and "improbable". In this, understandably, they miss Charlie's "diffferent" mind and more, his "different" way of being. I'm a psychotherapist, specializing for several decades in people for whom therapy has failed, often people, like Charlie, who've been hospitalized. And a dozen years ago, I discovered that maybe a quarter of my clients were in the autism spectrum, almost always AS/HFA -- often highly intelligent and able to relate to the neurotypically-structured social world, though relating "differently" and needing much more conscious struggling with the basics. After working several years with AS/HFA, I found these people had remarkable powers, and the usual "unable to relate or care" descritpion of autism just wasn't true in the ordinary sense. Most were neither uninterested nor uncaring -- in fact, quite the opposite. They desperately wanted to relate and, in some ways, they were over-caring, extremely sensitive to others. They related differently, not only to others, but to themselves and their world and, in particular, to language. Often not badly, but just very differently.Writing in first person gives the author no place to hide. You MUST have an extremely interesting character, and you MUST know that character with ruthless clarity. Chbosky does, and he does so well that I suspect he may have a touch of autism himself. Or at least it runs in his family. Disclosure: after several years working with AS/HFA children, teens and adults, I noticed that I was unusually drawn to them; I could almost use that diagnostically. With that awareness, I figured out that autism runs in my family. And with that, the disease faded away and the differences began to shine through. Let me note a few points from "The Perks" to illustrate. Charlie's speech, thinking and relating, at first blush, seems to be almost child-like, more charcteristic of six years old than sixteen. He has an astonishing honesty, a naive not-understanding, and his use of words frequently has that unintended poetic feel of children. But look more carefully: Yes, there are situations he doesn't get in ways shocking for a middle-teen. But as he thinks about them and questions them, he often goes right to the heart-of-the-matter, and a heart-of-the-matter that's usually missed or forgotten by those of us, especially adults, who "just get it" and go on. Let me give an extended quote from the book's end:"Later, [my friends, Sam and Patrick,] came by in Sam's pickup truck. And we went to the Big Boy just like we always did. Sam told us about her life at school, which sounded very exciting. And I told her about my life in the hospital, which didn't. And Patrick made jokes to keep everyone honest. After we left, we got in Sam's pickup truck, and just like Sam promised, we drove to the tunnel. About half a mile from the tunnel, Sam stopped the car, and I climbed in back. Patrick played the radio really loud so I could hear it, and as we were approaching the tunnel, I listened to the music and thought about all the things that people have said to me over the past year. I thought about Bill telling me I was special. And my sister saying she loved me. And my mom, too. And even my dad and brother when I was in the hospital. I thought about Patrick calling me his friend. And I thought about Sam telling me to do things. To really be there. And I just thought how great it was to have friends and a family....""But mostly, I was crying because I was suddenly very aware of the fact that it was me standing up in that tunnel with the wind over my face. Not caring if I saw downtown. Not even thinking about it. Because I was standing in the tunnel. And I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite."Starting out, it seems almost primitively black-&-white, until "And Patrick made jokes to keep everyone honest." In the context of all that literal-ness, it's startling. Charlie doesn't just note that "Patrick is telling jokes". Humor is often a struggle for AS/HFA, and so they need to work at understanding it. Through his work, Charlie is seeing not only Patrick's style of humor, but its function. Since AS/HFA often doesn't instinctively grasp "what" to do, they approach others and their world more basically through "why it's done" and "what it means". Because Charlie struggles to see the function of so much, he remains very much in touch with a stripped-down sense of that function's truth. Again, "And Patrick made jokes to keep everyone honest."Then Charlie's "telling" returns to seemingly smple description. But read again: the description is less "simple" than "primary". And in many ways, this is the importance for us in AS/HFA relating. Attention to detail, of what simply "is", is consciously, clearly combined with an almost-primary way of relating to themselves, to others, to their world, as well as a primary relating to language. And when we see ourselves, our world, our lives through Charlie's AS/HFA "primary" lens, we not only see afresh. We see what is "primary", what goes to the heart-of-the-matter, what is the stripped down function, and so what is truly important. Not preachy, but very experiential -- "truly important" very much as-lived.And Charlie winds up poetically pointing to primary experiences, connections and always-available potentials within and around us all: "And that was enough to make me feel infinite". And he got there through self and love and family and friends. Frankly, as a therapist who works most-of-all with severe trauma -- war PTSD, attachment disorders, sexual abuse, and deep grievings -- that's a short list, in those two paragraphs, of what gets lost in trauma and of what it takes to heal.OK, I'm probably probing more than interests most potential readers. As you can see in other reviews, there are many levels to enjoy in this book. If you like, though, let yourself be touched by Charlie's "primary" description-plus-function. You may find it not only intriguging and moving, but healing. And who of us can't use a touch of healing now-and-then?P.S. I read this on Kindle and, even on my laptop, I found it an easy read. It was particularly helpful because, now over 60 years old, I can boost up the print size, making reading more relaxing.

This book changed my life

"We accept the love we think we deserve". Perks of Being a Wallflower was an amazing story of hope, love, friendship, tragedy and human emotions. I was moved to tears more than once while reading this masterpiece. Fully recommend to anyone that's suffered loss or abuse. *****

Dear Friend,I literally just finished reading this book, and felt compelled to write a review. Not because I'm some sort of intellectual who just loves to hear myself and show people how smart I am, or how well (or not well) I write. I am not even attempting to persuade anyone to purchase this book. I am writing this because I feel inspired. Mainly I feel inspired because at times I feel that the central character and I share many of the same attributes. Mainly the ability to watch and absorb, but not actively participate. Like Charlie, I am participating by writing this review because believe it or not, something as small as writing a simple review on Amazon can make a "wallflower" feel like a participant and not just a quiet observer. This is something I have taken from this book. This is not so much me explaining my inner battle, not like being a compulsive liar, or a maniac depressive or something that can actually be considered a battle from within that can have life changing results. Simply, this is a characteristic that I am aware of that I would like to change to a certain extent "because it's okay to feel things. And be who we are about them", and expressing oneself is the best way to feel things, even in the smallest ways.Kurt Vonnegut once said "to practice any art, no matter how well or badly is a way to make your soul grow". I have never written a review, the last time Ive done anything similar to this was probably a million years ago when I had to do my last book report ever. Bare with me, I'm sure my thoughts and opinions will become a jumbled up mess at some point. But I must remind myself that this is NOT about perfection. So here goes nothing..........."The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is a story of a young man named "Charlie", he makes it known he rather be anonymous to his audience so throughout the book he uses this particular fake name for his anonymity reasons. His audience is a person he has never actually meet, but knows through other people and feels comfortable enough to write letters to (you get the feeling very quickly that Charlie does not have many outlets for his feelings, so anything seems acceptable and helpful). These letters contain his days, his thought, his opinions, and mainly his raw feelings. Charlie is pleasant boy with a gentle presence and a sensitive soul. He is a bit odd in his feelings and has some troubles, troubles that throughout the book are a bit hard to pin point. You soon learn that he has lost two very important people in his life and figure that he has had a really hard time dealing with these losses. He is a lonely young man getting ready to start his freshman year of high school. He loves his family but has a disconnect from them mainly because of his quiet nature and sensitivity, which no one understands, but his mother is the most patient with him. He doesn't have many friends and would be considered a loner until Sam and Patrick come along. With them comes a light that is shone into charlies gloomy world that gives him a new found hope and happiness. He feels less alone now that he has found two people who have genuinely taken an interest in him. Sam and Patrick are older, but when getting to know Charlie while reading this book you start to see that him being friends with older people is actually better for Charlie, as opposed to being friends with kids his own age. Because of Charlies over-sensitivity I believe it could've only been tolerated by people with a certain amount of maturity. They see Charlie as not just a sweet kid, but a person with a lot to contribute; whether he believes this quality about himself or not. Sam and Patrick are both very interesting people, both seniors and consider themselves to be very cultured and individualistic. Charlie takes notice of this and gravitates towards them and there circle of friends very quickly because they are so interesting, fun, honest, and forgiving.Throughout this book through the letters Charlie sends his anonymous reader, you feel Charlies love for everyone in his life including his siblings, parents, his teacher who takes a special interest in Charlie, his deceased aunt, and mostly his friends Sam and Patrick. Through the book you feel Charlies highs and his lows, but you also feel the dark cloud that seems to never be too far from Charlie. This sadness and guilt haunts Charlie regularly and just when it seems his has shaken it, it appears over his head gloomier and sadder than ever. You come to love Charlie very quickly when reading this book, he reminds us what it meant to be a timid teenager with a vulnerability and sensitivity that at times is indescribable. You also see how fiercely loyal Charlie is. When the tables turn and his friends start having hard times, Charlies love and devotion to his friends never changes, even when they "turn" on him, it never changes. Through his experiences you become invested in Charlie because there is a longing that you hope he gets better, with a mixer of wanting to protect him from the harshness of the world. When the book nears the end there are some revelations that are like a light switch coming on in a scarily dark room. The pieces that were missing from the puzzle are found, and with comes a maturity and acceptance that Charlie did not poses during the beginning of the book.Of course I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in reading a book that is beautifully simplistic. But I mainly recommend this book to anyone who is or once was a wallflower. I recommend this book to the sensitive souls that drift around in the cruel and hard world. I recommend this book to anyone who rather take a hug than throw a punch. I recommend this book to the high schooler feeling lost and alone. I recommend this book to anyone who loved the 90's as much as I did!!!! I also recommend reading this book with "The Smiths" music on repeat.Thanks for taking the time to read. Hopefully my reviews will get better as time goes on. Cheers!Teresa

This books is everything I wanted it to be and so much more I did not expect it to become. It was fantastic. Interesting. Thoughtful. Inspiring. I loved it!

The way the book is written gives such a great perspective on the main character's life. You can feel how he feels as he feels it. And for me, there were so many moments that he shared the words to something I've felt before.I loved watching his train of thought move through experiences, taking me with him.It never felt forced. Charlie's voice came through on every page. I'm looking forward to re- reading it.

I never watched the movie until I read the book. I can’t wait to have my daughter read it when she’s the appropriate age. I loved the book so much and the movie was great as well!

Quotable. Relatable. If you ever been sad a day in your life you will find something to relate about in this book.