How Your Church Family Works: Understanding Congregations as Emotional Systems

This book is very accessible to an educated reader, helpful to understanding the dynamics of religious communities like churches, and sufficiently deep as to bear re-reading for new insights.Steinke's thesis is that "the church functions as an emotional system." Such systems are, according to Steinke, "inherently anxious" and may create conflict, prevent healthy interaction with outsiders, and divert a church community from its intended purposes. An anxious system triggers unthinking, defensive reactions among those within it instead of thoughtful response to challenges and consequent growth. Steinke suggests that "we need to pay attention to and work through the anxious forces in the church rather than be surprised and rendered helpless by them, or retreat from their distressing influence, or, worse yet, protect those who spread their disease among others." When we are aware of these forces, our mental processes can move from reactive instinct to emotion and ultimately responsive thinking. This awareness allows us to adjust any expectation that the church be a "haven of peace and comfort" and realize instead that we are subject to mutual influence rather than linear causation and that many church activities are controlled by anxious individuals reacting defensively to changes in their environments. A sharpened awareness of the emotional processes at work in our parishes allows us to identify and break vicious circles of reaction and develop instead a healthful focus in response to challenge, which Steinke describes as follows:- Self, not others;- Strength, not weakness;- Process, not content;- Challenge, not comfort;- Integrity, not unity;- System, not symptom;- Direction, not condition.This is not an "install and forget" solution to problems in parish life; it would seem to require constant attention and a great deal of self-awareness on the part of leaders to steer between the equally dangerous shoals of fusion and conflict. Discerning leaders will be necessary, as anxiety and challenge may be merely the presenting symptoms of underlying problems in other relationships. Steinke envisions that successful leaders will know what triggers anxiety and be prepared to consciously address it with a tolerance for "pain, threat, and sabotage." We must recall that most biblical spirituality was born in wilderness and exile and that the ministry we are undertaking is, in no small measure, the "passion of the church."I read this book as part of a seminary course on practical ministry, and I liked it very much. I gave it four stars because there are various points in the book in which the means of implementing the author's advice are not immediately apparent in the text or upon reflection (particularly his description of "alone and together relationship systems").Recommended for all church leaders, lay or ordained.

OverviewWithin the pages of How Your Church Family Works: Understanding Congregations as Emotional Systems, author Peter L. Steinke has put together a necessary tool for anyone looking to go into the ministry and be a leader in the Church. In this day and age the Church is in a perilous state, where anxiety is rampant and local churches are dissolving. This book offers wise insight into how our church congregations are more than just a building, or group of people, but living, anxious, and emotional systems. This book offers a crash course on systematic thinking, and an in-depth study on anxiety. Peter L. Steinke has written a book that is wonderfully eye opening.Problems• This book starts off by giving a very brief crash course on systems and systematic thinking, then goes into a more in-depth study on anxiety, though both are helpful, this book covers them disproportionally. Going off of the title of the book, a reader could feel slightly mislead, because after just the first chapter Peter L. Steinke switches from the topic of systems, to anxiety- a topic that takes up the rest of the book. It would seem more logical to have either written two separate books: one about systems and systematic thinking in the Church, and the other about anxiety in the Church. The way it is designed there is just not enough information given to fully understand systems and systematic thinking.• This book does contain the author’s personal opinion as to certain denominations belonging to the Church that many would disagree with; though to some it may be seen as a benefit, to others it may be a hindrance. Either way, the information contained in this book is invaluable to the Church, regardless of denominational background.Benefits• The author starts out by spending a chapter discussing what systems are. Though it is only a crash course on systems, it is a good primer to systematic thinking.• The author provides an in-depth study on anxiety in general and in the Church.• Throughout the book the author provides many useful illustrations and graphs to help the reader picture and understand this very complicated subject.• Though this subject is complicated, this book covers systems and the issue of anxiety in a way that the average reader can understand and apply.Academic SettingBecause of its length and disproportional design, this book is not recommended for a systems or pastoral class, but rather a counseling class. This book would be suited better for a congregational leaders study, or for personal study.StructureThis book is divided into two sections, each containing five chapters. The first chapter deals with systems, while the following chapters deal with the problem of anxiety in the Church.

This book was one of the books I read while at collage and I found it very helpful while studying small churches

Great insight into relational interaction and how to be aware of the emotional forces at work within the church and Its life.

I have yet to read this book which will help me to write my next assignment concerning characters in the church.

Helpful

The principles are very helpful for those looking to deepen their understanding of leading groups of people, especially churches. That being said most of the meaty stuff is established early on and the rest of the book felt repetitive. You have to mine a bit to get much out of the second half.