1313: Giant Killer Bees!

I liked it played but it wasn't the best movie, I have seen about bee's. Very disappointed but it's my fault that I didn't like this movie

1313: Giant Killer Bees is another guilty pleasure directed by David Decoteau. I've been a long time fan of Decoteau's, even if nearly all of his movies are just an excuse for hot guys to take off their shirts, take showers, etc. Actually, that's why I'm a fan! Giant Killer Bees is his movie in years, maybe since Leeches. The guys in this movie are all hot, including one who unfortunately doesn't even take his shirt off. I'm talking about the hunk who has wavy dark hair and looks like Taylor Lautner, only a few years older. The shower scenes are really hot, and the camera actually zooms in on the guy's pubic area. And we get to see some brief butt shots in the shower as well. The bees in the film are CGI, and look really bad but fun in a cheesy way. There are some humorous moments sprinkled throughout, making this a campy and light sci-fi / horror film. Here's hoping that Decoteau's numerous upcoming projects are just as good (or better) as this one.

About a year or so ago I went on a bad DVD buying spree, and among the bargain bin price movies I picked up were a few from David DeCoteau, a director sometimes praised for his outlandish sense of camp. The first two I watched ("90210 Shark Attack!" and "Bigfoot vs. D. B. Cooper") were very similar. After watching them I felt exhausted by the awfulness of the production values and decided to pace myself and wait a year before attempting "1313: Giant Killer Bees!" I don't personally understand the appeal of the 1313 series, but I was at least hoping for some campy fun, and truth bee told (sorry; I couldn't not make that pun), I would have given this an extra half star if Amazon allowed it for the ludicrous bee CGI, which made me laugh out loud several times. Not that plot is particularly important to any of these films, but at least this gets us away from the locations more frequently used by DeCoteau, and was filmed in Puerto Rico, here representing the island of "San Marino", a location outside the purview of meddling health and safety regulators and perfect for giant bee experiments. The film opens with a science type, Professor Bensington (Raine Parsons-Wright) in bandages explaining how he didn't mean to destroy the world, so the rest of the film is told in flashback, technically. One thing I will say for DeCoteau: he really does know how to set up and photograph a shot: his cinematography skills are very strong, and the photography of the locations (particularly the beach and fort) is excellent. The problem comes in stringing the individual snippets together into a coherent movie. Now, I frankly expected a minimum of coherent plot and an excess of padding, and boy was I right! This film is an exercise in padding, and could probably be edited down to a 15-minute short that would be much more interesting and appropriately paced. I'm not exaggerating: the worst offender is when one of the protagonists here wanders around for what seems like forever in the old coastal fort they filmed in. I dare you not to fast forward. Another annoyance, particularly early in the film, is the oppressive dramatic music that overwhelms the soundtrack while nothing dramatic is happening. The point of this experiment (in the most casually run, soccer-intensive lab I have ever seen) is to make honeybees bigger and more durable to increase their pollinating abilities, and to better resist the ravages of global warming. To that end, Bensington's lab is populated by grad students, only one of which is female (Jillian Nelson, who is quite attractive, but a bit out of her element here), and many of which are shirtless, as is the mouthy, bitter janitor. Bensington sends in a guy named Redwood (Derek North) to take charge of the chaos and get results. Once the cast is all assembled, the typical DeCoteau action really gets going: lots of long, lingering shots of young men lounging in their underwear dominate the film. It's also amazing that in such a time-critical emergency how much time is available for long steamy showers (though some may be disappointed that Jillian Nelson never gets her turn for some reason....) I did get a laugh out of the "bee eye vision" effect where the naughty voyeur bee watches the guy napping on his bed for what seems like 50 hours, but is probably realistically closer to five minutes. When the giant CGI bees are finally revealed, you will likely be unable to stop an audible guffaw. The science behind how the bees turn the guys into shower bee vampires is a bit mystifying, but the bee autopsy results (!) will reveal all. Of course the film ends in a race against time as everyone is becoming bee zombie vampires (I guess), and the bees are getting ready to lay their eggs. (Of course they are.) In a positive twist, the film may end a bit differently than you expect and that's an upside, but nothing can change the fact that this is a stultifyingly boring film with no real redeeming graces. Like with some of his other works, this one includes a commentary track with DeCoteau that's marginally more interesting than the film itself, the trailer for this film and also a trailer for "Nightmare Mansion". Rounding out the extras are a few behind the scenes still photographs. This is among the worst of the David DeCoteau films. His obvious focus on marginally clad young men is what his movies have apparently devolved into and if that's not your thing, the cult and camp value will not outweigh that in any way shape, form, or fashion. Is this a bad movie? Yes it is. Is it enjoyably bad? I think not.

Handsome actors.

Nice silly movie with super big bees, and boys.

OK, true confession time here: I'm actually a big fan of really BAD horror movies. Also being a gay man, when I first discovered David DeCoteau's brand of campy, super-low-budget horror flicks - all featuring hunky college age guys spending a lot of time in just their white boxer briefs - I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The love affair with his films pretty much ended with "Beastly Boyz" (2006) which was - IMO - an insult to his fans. But I had to give him another look, when I heard about "1313: Giant Killer Bees!" and hoped I'd find something similar to another one of his creature features, "Leeches" (2003), which was my personal favorite. The usual elements are here: an over-the-top horror plot (An experiment on a Caribbean island, looking to make honeybees more productive, accidentally results in giant mutant, zombie-creating bees!), about a half dozen great looking hunky young guys (mostly new faces), and rather tacky special effects (Not a dig, as this is part of the charm of his old films). What doesn't work is the execution, with scenes dragged out to a tedious and ridiculous length, seemingly to stretch a 30 minute story into the 80 minute run time. There are the usual - but here far too lengthy - scenes of a napping briefs-clad boy rubbing his body (from the waist up only, as per usual in his films), guys taking showers (but never using soap), and the one token female character (remaining fully clothed, even getting out of a bed in which she presumably had sex with one of the guys). Some of the extended scenes are shot with a "bee cam" which gets old very quickly. Listening to DeCoteau's commentary, even he seemed bored by this one, as he often ignored what was happening on the screen and droned on about other films, traveling, and how great it was to find so many scenic locations - which largely had noting to add to the film - there in Puerto Rico. This is only one of a series of similar films, all titled with "1313" at the start of the title. This one would be rated PG, perhaps for mild erotic content and violence. Out of five stars, I'd average 4 (Eye Candy), 2 (Plot) and 1 (Execution) and give it two stars. PS: DeCoteau has never represented that his films were meant to have a gay element (other than the ever-present male semi-nudity ... DUH!), and I'm sure that they also have fans among cougars and other fans of young male flesh. Still, it did feel like a bit of a slap in the face that the film poster and DVD cover specifies this is "A Science Fiction Chiller for Girls!" (Future film suggestion, David: "1313: Biting The Hand That Feeds You!")

These are very hot men, especially the one in the shower, who has one of the guys run his fingers down his back. The plot and acting were good in this one.

I’m happy with my dvd! It wasn’t like we thought it would be but it was still ok to watch! Definitely not the best of movie/film that me and my fiancée have seen and we’ve watched alot over the years as we both have really large collections! It’s ideal to watch if you just want to watch something and there’s nothing on tv but i wouldn’t go out of my way to buy this film/movie! X

This is completely ludricus - there is nothing to say anything about the killer bees and if you want to watch someone walk around an island and also a fort that is about the highlight of this O.M.G. movie - don't waste your money - I like campy movies but this is just too much