No Easy Choice: A Story of Disability, Parenthood, and Faith in an Age of Advanced Reproduction

I reluctantly picked this up to read -- such a huge and weighty subject and my thought was that no one could do it justice or, if an author tried, I would be preached at and left feeling adrift. Not so. I could not put this down, finished it in two days, and found the weaving together of personal story and information not just worthwhile, but irresistible and informative in the richest of ways.Part of my background is in adoption -- as a parent of a child with a disability and professionally as a social worker. "No Easy Choice" provided a broader and deeper picture of having children and being a parent. I have always valued stories and know it is important to hear not just one story (especially when it is my own) in order to broaden one's view; this book affirmed that and more. While there are perspectives here that are not mine, I learned much and appreciate knowing more about an arena in which fundamental parts of who we are, what we believe and how we make choices have roots and bear fruit.The prose is in "No Easy Choice" is fluid and, at times, touchingly beautiful. The information is broad in scope and delivered with an even and gentle hand. I heartily recommend this book for those for whom taking a look at life from various angles makes for a sharper picture or, perhaps, just fosters a feeling of understanding oneself and others. Life, after all, seems best when we share it and I closed the final pages of this book feeling both connected and informed, better equipped to make choices and support others who are making them too.

This book is valuable in several ways. First, the writer never imposes her views as "the only right view" on assisted reproduction. Rather, she thoroughly and compassionately presents many of the pro's and con's of using assisted reproduction in an attempt to conceive a healthy baby. In doing so, she weaves in her personal story of investigating preimplantation genetic diagnosis - and, boy, does she investigate. For months, she considers and weighs the ethics of using this technology and whether it's the right thing to do: for society, for her family and for her baby. Along with her story, she also shares the views of friends, writers, pastors and ethicists.Second, and what made me so cherish the book, was Painter Dollar's story of what it's like to be a woman with a physical disability, as well as a wife and a mother. Such stories aren't told enough. Painter Dollar's honest anecdotes about living with a genetic bone disorder will touch a chord with anyone who considers herself different from what society considers "the ideal." Her stories let us know, thank God, that we're not alone. And we can succeed. My favorite line from this poignant book? "A new ability to see my body as capable and worthy, beautiful and powerful, is one of the surprise gifts of motherhood." What mother can't relate to that?

This is an unusual book in that it approaches ethical issues from the perspective of someone having to contend with a genetic condition herself and in her family. What makes it unusual and immensely helpful is that she engages with theologians and Christian writers against this background. In this way she throws a great deal of light on preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) as she and her husband agonize over whether they should utilize PGD to avoid having another child with osteogenesis imperfecta (OI). Her grappling with a wide array of theological input is impressive as her honesty and emotional involvement throw light on the agonizingly complex nature of the ethical issues that follow in the wake of the technological tools now available in the reproductive area. The author is never willing to accept glib answers and her response to her own family's predicament throws light onto these never-easy-to-resolve dilemmas.

If only life were as easy as those loudly shouting proclaim it to be. In Dollar's book, No Easy Choice, she grapples with the complex issues surrounding disability, genetics and the issues surrounding ivf. By thoughtfully using her story, as a disabled woman and the mother of a disabled child, and the story of others, Dollar eloquently points out how difficult these issues are. She offers no platitudes but does give us a well written, engaging and thought provoking book. It is a book parents and those contemplating parenthood, geneticists, theologians, and anyone searching for insight on what constitutes a "good life" should read. Dollar may not give us an easy choice, but she does give us deeper understanding, a rare thing in this noisy world.

My teeth were gritted and my legs were clenched during the broken bones and births and medical procedures. I laughed out loud at the gems of humor scattered throughout. I was impressed by the non-judgmental and loving way in which ethical paths were logically explored through the complex minefield surrounding reproductive options. I learned a lot.

For nearly forty years, it has been my privilege to work with persons facing difficult bioethical dilemmas. A close friend lost two children to cystic fibrosis though both parents knew they were carriers of the gene. Ultimately, they adopted and have been fabulous parents. I rejoice that Ellen Dollar has shared her wrenching experiences with us.