Bitch Slap (Unrated)

What if Charlie's Angels was raunchy, trashy and rated a hard-R a la Tarantino? Well, you'd probably get this funny, tasteless and breastacular exploitation film which walks a fine line between an erotic clothes-on video shoot and a slapstick crime caper that makes every effort to be bad in the spirit of fun.Writer/director Rick Jacobson is no stranger to over-the-top, scantily clad tough girls and cleavage. He's directed many episodes of Hercules, Xena, Baywatch and two seasons of Spartacus, and he knows how to deliver. He can't aim a camera at one of his leading ladies without starting at her fun parts. As tasteless as that sounds, Jacobson has crafted a modern, clever throwback to exploitation classics, dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.These girls talk a big game, are way too tough to be credible (because credible is what they were after in making this film, right?), and give us a mix raunchy girl-on-girl humor with silly spy skills.We have three female leads... The air-headed Trixie (Julia Voth), red-headed Hel (Erin Cummings; Dollhouse, Spartacus: War of the Damned) and the over-medicated hothead Camero (America Olivo; No One Lives, Maniac, Friday the 13th) are three breasty chicks with attitude who are in over their head for $200 million in diamonds. Clearly borrowing from Tarantino's Pulp Fiction (1994), the story jumps from present day to flashbacks, not presented in chronological order, which serve to explain some things in the wake of the confusion while slowly pulling the veil on what's really going on along with some red herrings. This approach is articulate, but it's hard to notice when the view of this cleverness is obscured by so many in-your-face, sweaty boobs.This mix of female empowerment and exploitation features bullets to the balls, exit wound sprays from the head, threats of genital mutilation, stripper dance routines, comical drug use, a glowing vagina, very weirdly creative (or just drug-induced) analogies, crotch punches, death yo-yos, sopping wet catfights, women touching themselves, a pig-tailed lesbian Asian in a schoolgirl outfit, loads of heaving and fondling, chicks hogtying other chicks with chains, chicks lighting other chicks on fire, chicks exploding other chicks in cars, chicks choking other chicks out, REALLY BIG guns, a female crotch bite (first ever on film?), the longest and most ridiculous catfight ever, and so much more.The highlight of this director's skills include a split screen girl-on-girl makeout session complete with trancy film-editing transitions. Jacobson also keeps things classy by showing us strikingly few bare nipples...however we do get insinuated lesbian oral sex and more wet breast shots than Piranha 3D (2010) and Piranha 3DD (2012) combined.The level of crazy corny action, fake acrobatics, cartoonish green-screen work (very Sin City graphic novel-y), utterly tasteless voluptuan montages with sleazy scoring, catfights with metal-scoring, and D-quality slo-mo special effects should provoke uncontrollable laughter.Kevin Sorbo (Hercules, Xena, Meet the Spartans) makes a cameo appearance as Mr. Phoenix and Lucy Lawless (Xena, Hercules, Spartacus, Battlestar Galactica) as Mother Superior. Sorbo gets the better cameo by far! You can find him in the worst action finale ever.You should know based on the DVD cover whether or not this movie is for you. It may not be "my style," but it was certainly for me.

I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting when I rented Bitch Slap, besides of course beautiful women romping around in inappropriate clothing, which I got in abundance, but I sure wasn't expecting to enjoy this movie as much as I did. Nor did I expect such an in-depth, amusing, and unusually long "making of" special feature. I certainly wasn't expecting some of the candid reveals the heroines give in their voice-over (1 of 2 excellent audio commentary tracks). And I sure never expected to then rush out and buy this modern-day homage to the sexploitation films of my youth, but it was so fun I couldn't resist.Bitch Slap is by no means perfect. Its very low budget meant the makers had to live with some scene continuity issues that a more flush production would have fixed. The green screen work was at times painfully obvious, but I personally found that it added to the overall and over the top camp the film embraced. Some will disagree. Some might also be disappointed with an almost complete lack of nudity (there is a half-second blip of a nipple in a bar scene), but on this topic I think Slap's creators were spot on. The lack of nudity is much like the fabled Persian Flaw - a purposeful mar introduced so as not to offend the gods with man-made perfection. The female leads are so gorgeous, frankly, that had they bared all I would still be watching that movie. I'm sure the producers wanted to avoid lawsuits involving >4hour erectile issues. Also, and I mean this with all sincerity, Bitch Slap is not a bad date movie. Add nudity, however, and your female friend goes from thinking "I totally want to be that kick-ass chick" to "e[...] porn".To be clear, Bitch Slap is first and foremost a movie about hot women in skimpy clothes being bad-asses. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, well... I feel a little sorry for you and you should probably skip this movie. If, on the other hand, you're looking for a movie that actually manages to pay loving tribute to the sexploitation genre without itself being just another bad, B-movie then this is a must see.My only real complaint, and it's actually quite a big one, is that Bitch Slap does not seem to be available in Blu-Ray. For a movie that is in almost every sense of the word, beautiful, that I can't be watching the greatest cat-fight in history on Blu-Ray hi-def is a crime. Of course, what I'm really grumpy about is that I'm going to be buying this movie twice when the Blu-Ray version does come out.Oh well. Life's a Bitch.

Three bodacious young ladies are out in the desert looking for the treasure that belongs to Gage( Michael Hurst). The story is being told as a flashback from the opening scene. During this time we have repeated flashbacks to bring out plot points. As a grindhouse, the plot tends to be secondary to the violence, blood, and male fantasy. This one is no different as the plot is immaterial to the enjoyment of the individual scenes with nuns and a Japanese school girl with a killer yo-yo.The treasure belongs to the legendary "Pinky" a Keyser Söze type character.The film is for people who like to watch cat fights and cleavage. The girls douse themselves with water at the 38 minute mark. There is the typical grindhouse type of humor and those with a stop motion might want to check out the writing on Trixie's (Julia Voth) panties: Puffy P****. I love the girls in a vintage T-bird, a muscle machine for chicks.The film is a grindhouse romp.Parental Guide: F-bomb. girl/girl sex. Rather disappointing brief nudity (Saranne Lund)

Do you like great dialogue, awesome acting and no use of digital effects? You do? Then you probably ought to avoid ‘B*tch Slap,’ for it has none of those. It’s probably best described as ‘grindhouse,’ i.e. a type of violent, low-budget B-movie filled with second rate actors who probably look better than they act. That pretty much sums up this. It’s certainly not for everyone, but, if you like your grindhouse and are more than a little forgiving, you may get something out of it (failing that… if you just want to look at hot women for an hour and a half and your internet connection has gone down, then look no further!).It’s about three (naturally gorgeous) women who steal a load of diamonds and go to a rendezvous point in the desert to divvy up the loot. Obviously, things don’t go according to plan, as those who they stole from get more than a little upset about the theft and come looking for them. Throw in there a police officer with a nose for trouble and the normal ‘in-gang’ squabbling’ and you have a recipe for disaster (and I’m only talking about the plot when I use the term ‘disaster’).First of all the acting. There are no recognisable faces here. And for a good reason. I had a theory that the three main lead women were all sourced from (how should I put this?) the ‘adult entertainment’ industry, therefore ‘acting’ was not part of what they were used to. Basically, they rely on their looks to get them through.Then there’s the dialogue. Even if it was well written the actors would probably struggle to deliver the lines with any great feeling. It all comes across as little more than the script to an afore-mentioned adult entertainment film (and that goes for the criminals and other cast in the film, not just the three leads).Then there’s the special effects. Besides the main setting of a desert camp (high budget, huh?) all flashback scenes of any other location is basically filmed against a blue screen. And it shows. It’s possible they did this on purpose to emphasise the cheesiness of the whole outing.So, overall, you have a pretty dire film. Unfortunately, it’s just so damn entertaining I found it very difficult to hate, despite its numerous (and very obvious) flaws. Yes, it’s daft, but then it never really tries to be anything else. It even gives you a major clue in the title. From the title ‘B*tch Slap’ if you’re expecting anything else other than three girls wrestling and shooting machine guns at each other, then you really don’t know how films work.Yes, it’s rubbish, but it knows it. Therefore, if you’re in the mood for rubbish – which I say we all need sometime – then this is for you. Leave brain at door. Enjoy for what it blatantly is.

Bitch Slap is in some ways a parody of the 1970's B movie industry adult humour but no nudity but lots of violence. Bitch Slap also features in back up roles the cast of the Adventures of Hercules and Xena warrior Princess lots of shooting and one memorable girl on girl cat fight. Although the film is a parody of the adult film industry of the 1970's there is no nudity it is not that sort of film it is a action/comedy with many over the top performances from the entire cast.

This is how you make a B movie! Stupid story, low budget etc but employ an A team of beautiful ladies that can actually act. This was a very nice surprise. The only reason for the four instead of the five stars was the ending that left to much hanging in the air. I don't think there will be a "Bitch Slap 2" so I am a little worried about that nano-robot weapon... This was worth spending an evening with and how many B movies can you say that about?

Just loads of violence & silly acting. I wouldn't recommend this dvd (bitch slap)

Very good quality picture of the pretty girls on the HD disc with quite interesting storyline, given this type of movies. Given the genre of this movie, it's a lot better than the wildly unreal scenes of similar Japanese movies. It's actually the best of it's kind. I think the producer/director achieved the project target they set out. Well done! Highly recommended.